Couples Therapy
“To be human is to need others, and this is no flaw or weakness.”
Dr. Sue Johnson
When you feel disconnected from the person who matters the most, your sense of home in the world can feel unstable.
In the beginning, your relationship was strong and you felt deeply connected. You’ve always been able to get through hard moments together, and you felt unbreakable. But lately, communication just feels surface-level or leads to conflict, and the resentment keeps growing. Whether it’s trying to manage the emotional chaos of being new parents, adjusting after a big move, or trying to heal after a breach of trust, you can’t deny it anymore - it’s taken a toll on your relationship.
You keep having the same fights over and over again without any resolution. You feel misunderstood, you both get defensive, no one feels heard, and nothing changes. Maybe you’ve stopped trying, just so you can avoid this exhausting roller coaster, but the silence and emotional distance feel just as painful. You’re both walking on eggshells and reaching for each other less. You’re in the same room, but it feels like you’re miles apart. You wonder if things will ever go back to how they used to be. What if your relationship is broken?
If any of this sounds all too familiar, just know - there is a way through this.
You can find home in one another again.
Deep down, you know you care deeply about one another and believe in what you have built together. It’s not that your relationship is broken - you’re stuck in a cycle, and you need support getting out of it. It is possible to restore safety and trust, and find a renewed - and maybe even stronger - connection.
Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT): A proven path to help you reconnect, repair, and deepen your bond.
I am a certified Emotionally Focused Therapist (EFT) for couples, which means I have completed extensive and rigorous training and supervision, and have demonstrated proven expertise, in using EFT to facilitate healing for couples experiencing distress and conflict. EFT is an empirically validated treatment grounded in attachment science and backed by over 30 years of research, and is widely considered to be a gold standard for couples therapy. It is based on the notion that secure emotional bonds are essential for thriving.
EFT is powerful because it moves beyond just teaching basic, surface-level communication skills, and helps you truly get to the heart of the matter. In our sessions, we slow things way down, so we can understand your fights differently. We’ll shift the focus from the content of your fights (because it’s not actually about who didn’t do the dishes), to understand the emotions and attachment needs that lead to your negative cycle - one that developed for important reasons, and that can be changed.
You’ll learn how to identify the cycle that you’re in, interrupt it together, understand what’s actually happening for your partner when they get critical or shut down, and express your deeper feelings in a new way. When you both learn to do this, not only does your communication shift, but you cultivate a deeper sense of safety, trust, and connection.
The video below features the founder of EFT, Dr. Sue Johnson, speaking about how EFT helps create secure bonds and soothes the brain.
I also have advanced training in the Gottman Method, which is build on over 40 years of research and observation into how couples interact, and what elements foster a strong and enduring relationship. I incorporate Gottman exercises into the therapy work where needed to facilitate emotional safety and skill-building.
I have specialized training and experience with ADD/ADHD-impacted couples, new and hopeful parents, and interracial/intercultural couples. I support couples with various goals and struggles, including:
Improving communication and emotional intimacy
Strengthening the relationship before marriage
Conflict resolution and de-escalation
Sexual concerns and intimacy issues
Cross-cultural concerns
Healing from relationship betrayal (sexual, emotional and/or financial)
Reproductive stress
New parents adjusting to life with a baby/young children
Navigating major life transitions - geographical moves, career changes, etc.
Goodness of Fit Disclaimer:
For the first 4-6 sessions, I will be assessing if I and/or my therapy approach can be helpful to your relationship. If during this process I determine that it is not a good fit for working together, I will discuss this assessment with you and provide an appropriate referral.